Jemmaleena

Saw an email from work before I clocked out and I hate what I read and now I won't be able to calm down until tomorrow when I inevitably either just accept the new status quo or annoy my colleague.

TrellWhitehead

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Jemmaleena

I'm miserable and I currently hate myself. I've created lists on my inadequacy and I feel a need to express myself further and this is the only outlet I have in which my partner or my friends do not know me on. I'm just very frustrated with how things have turned out and I dont feel like I should have to be alone on an evening in December like this when I'm in a vulnerable position. When it comes down to a decision, people can be very selfish, which I can see the funny side of when I'm sat at home wishing I was dead. The only reason why I'm not is because my father has already lost a child and I wouldn't put him through that again. I'm just forced to stay in this quagmire of going around in circles and feeling happy to only be let down for the millionth time. It is very disheartening when its revealed that you are not good enough for some people. And when I say some people I mean those closest too me. I hate everything.

Redefined_richard

@Jemmaleena You are important!! You are you and you shouldn't let anything bring you down. 
            You have been doing just fine , being an extra - ordinary person and there's more you can be , dont limit yourself with these thoughts , okay ?
• Reply

Jemmaleena

I've not written in so long because I have genuinely been so busy but I've got 1200 words written for the next chapter of I Don't Give A Damn!
          
          Here is a small excerpt:
          
             I took one last glance down at my outfit. I was wearing my light blue, skinny jeans, a white crop top and my khaki green jacket over the top. I couldn’t really dress up too fancy if all I was doing was sitting at his place but I still wanted to look nice and the jeans had only been worn once before so were still clean.
             I’d thrown on my white trainers and straightened my hair and put my hoop earrings in. I felt good about myself. My body was slim and my hip bones were on show, which was always good because Josh was obsessed with them – which he had confessed half-cooked when I first met him and I was in fair wearing the same top from when I did first meet him.