EpicallyFlower

Hi Jessica I just finished reading your story. I will not go into much detail but I think:
          While the story line is gripping and you indeed keep readers at their toes with the numerous characters I felt the narration needs a lot of work.
          It fails to make any impact in the first few chapters but the action propels readers forward and it gets a little better towards the end. The grammatical mistakes are something that can't be avoided but a few glaring ones can still be checked for.
          I liked how you gave it a sort of 'deviant art-sy' feel with the unique character names.
          Overall, I think your story has a great potential and succeeds in keeping the readers curious due to those aptly placed revelations but Toby's interactions with his surroundings might be needing a little polish. I would like to read what happens ahead.
          
          You have many followers and of course I might just as well be a nobody on Wattpad in comparison but, I am a nobody with a taste.
          I came to know of your book from a promotional book of some sort ( I don't remember) & you were in for feedback so I thought I might give you some!
          No hard feelings here, I guess: 
          You can review my work too if you want & comment on the same!

EpicallyFlower

@EpicallyFlower :)
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Jessica_writes

@EpicallyFlower I absolutely agree with you! :D and aww thank you soo much that means the world to me! You are very nice :)
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EpicallyFlower

@EpicallyFlower Wattpad is where we grow so it is absolutely necessary that we have some shortcomings for people to point out.
            And I have your book in my library, I would definitely be reading it till the end!
            :D
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timeforyoongi

Thanks for following love! It would mean the world to me if you took a peek at my books ❤️❤️

timeforyoongi

@Jessica_writes thanks love!!
• Reply

Jessica_writes

@attiranttae your welcome and of course :)
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