Jeuniesse
Just released a new one shot on ao3<333 go check it out!!!
Jeuniesse
Jeuniesse
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Is it so hard to ask to live? Is it selfish to have dreams In a world where food is a miracle? Is it fair that some people get the chance to thrive while others attempt to survive? I barely made it to 2024 and 2025, now I'm supposed to do it again in a worse and more wrecked state than before. with all my primary coping mechanisms gone, I am lost. I am truly desperate for a soul and spark. For motivation. I'm not living. I'm barely surviving. Each day feels like a new rock getting thrown on my already destroyed body. I no longer enjoy anything. I miss being happy. I truly do. I became so bitter, harsh, cold and rude. This is not me. I am not me. I became unrecognizable. And who is to blame? Me. No one can help myself but I. Everyone seems to cope well, get over it, while I'm here still depressed from moving out over a year ago. I shouldn't be. My friends lost homes and relatives, I lost nothing. I'm merely grieving for my innocence. Something that was gonna be eventually taken one way or another.
That's not to say I'm gonna kms today or some shit. Not at all. I'm just saying that I don't care anymore. Whether I stay alive today, tomorrow or for another 100 years, I'm already dead. Dead to myself at least. My mind is my own biggest enemy and I can't help it. My spirit is stuck in this body until it rots. I just have to get over it. Everyone is going through war. I'm not special just because I had to experience it earlier.
The refugees are invading the schools again, just like in 2024. We're tryna offer them meals and money. My country is getting actively colonized and I'm supposed to be fine with it. Orange and olive trees in the south are getting destroyed as you're probably reading this. Some are older than 'israel'. Houses, villages, and civilians are getting bombed and colonized. My entire existence, nationality, roots are getting erased and I cant do shit about it. If it's not me who kills myself, it'd be my 'very nice neighbors in the south'.
Jeuniesse
@itssocollabo hehe heh ty very much <3333 <:)))))) means a lot to me srsly u don't know how much I'm thankful :))))
itssocollabo
@Jeuniesse I understand a lot (about the moving and the war) :( I moved about 2 years ago and I’d hate my place everyday. I’m sorry you feel like that it’s normal to feel sad like that, like everything’s changed in a bad way U can always talk to someone if you like maybe a close friend or some1 Stay safe <3
Jeuniesse
My dad just said every slur word because he saw a gay person online. The enemy is closer than he believes. And also, he knows I'm bi like wtf?
Jeuniesse
OHHHH- so I have RAD not asthma!- they're still similar though. I think I'm going thru an episode rn after Lucky died
Jeuniesse
Ramadan Karim everyone! I'm gonna make sure to write extra smut on ao3~/j /maybenotjk
TealEraStories
✨ Paste ✨
✨ This ✨
✨ On ✨
✨ The ✨
✨ Ten ✨
✨ Nicest ✨
✨ People’s ✨
✨ Profiles ✨
✨ If you get ✨
✨ Ten back ✨
✨ Then you are ✨
✨ Very special ✨
Jeuniesse
Prolly gonna go on hiatus till I'm doing better.
Jeuniesse
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My mom just keeps giving me more prove on why I should hate her. I fucking hate her so much. Every time I bring up that I wanna do sm literature related, she tells EVERYONE she knows about it KNOWING THAT'S THEY WILL ALL COME TO ME AND SCOLD ME! SHE SENT MY AUNT (who took architecture) TO TELL ME TO NOT TO ANYTHING ART OR LITERACY AND TO BECOME A DOCTOR OR A BUSINESS WOMAN! FUCK EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I'M LONELY
Jeuniesse
I tried touching myself yesterday cuz I don't wanna sh but now im bleeding from down there help T_T prolly gonna try doing it again today
Jeuniesse
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I am so close to pull a yellow cardigan. Whenever I feel like I don't love my mom enough, I remember exactly WHY I'm not close to her, why I fucking hate her. No wonder why.