JiaTheBobaLover
this message may be offensive
Hey... I guess this is my first time utilizing this feature in Wattpad cuz I'm a dumbass who doesn't explore an app. I wish I could start it on a lighter note but, yeah, I just hit a low on my mental health and I need to write it somewhere where none of my irl friends know me. If you don't wanna read it, just scroll, i don't mind. You don't have to respond either. So yeah.
[TW MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, BULLYING, BODY IMAGE]
Anxiety, depression and overthinking sucks man. I can't even control it and its effecting me. Being bullied all my life doesn't help either. For reasons that doesn't makes sense too. I hate my body, my fat thighs, my fat stomach, my large arms. I hate my childish mind too. I want to not eat soo bad but I have gastritis that makes me have to eat or my stomach will feel like its being punched. I have no motivation to do workouts and I only care about my grades. Even I don't feel like I'm improving anymore. Just stuck here. I'm happy yet jealous at the same time when looking at my friends' achievements. My supposed "best friend" ghosted me, which in my mind a sign that she left me. So yeah, life is just great (note the sarcasm)
BTS songs do help me to hang on but they can only do so much. My parents they disagreed with me before and now "supportive" but still hesitates to bring me some much needed help. My other best friends is in another city so I'm basically alone here. Don't get me started on the people who judged me saying I'm not grateful.
So yeah, I'm not that great tonight and thank you so much for taking time to read this message and again you don't have to respond, probably gonna delete this later.
Melody_melos
Results takes time . Don't give up try n stick to it even if it seems like it isn't possible. Trust me it's possible. Your strongest power is your willpower and that's sets you different from the rest n try to use it for you own success . And see if yourself the happiness that comes with it
Melody_melos
And i am not pitying you i am just trying to opening your eyes to unleash your future best self <3 .
Melody_melos
@JiaTheBobaLover these feelings are quite deep . Firstly hats off to you to honestly speak your vent up feelings proud of you :) . Secondly gods creation are magical , unique and rare beautiful in their own way . So don't you dare say you hate your body hands and yourself alright? . You hear bta right? They always say to love yourself and be there for yourself try to do that okay? I know it isn't easy but one must try . And you focus on your grades that's the only thing that matters in the end knowledge stays with us and benefits us forever. And as of workout gurll even I am hell lazy hehe . Your mentioned Bestfriend isn't your bestfriend. N don't compare yourself you are beautiful in your own way . You are honest and a fighter. You are coping with it all trying even if you want to give up and that's one of a help quality not many people have i tell you . So be proud of yourself alright? Take care be there for yourself so on future you are proud and happy do it for yourself for your happiness it's hard but it's worth a shot i tell you :)
