remy

im not here mentally anymore, i thought i was here, i thought that after a while everything would be over and get better. its just not happening, life isnt the same anymore im lost and scared of being even more alone than i am, im tired, im tired of being tired, im just lost, i feel so empty. there are times when i lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and think why. i always end up hurting someone or having the worst luck, in the end i dont deserve anything im tired of lying to myself saying everything is okay when its not. i keep these thoughts in my head and i dont know how to get them out. i try to get rid of the pain by going back to the things i love but it doesnt work anymore, nothing feels the same, it feels like everything is meaningless and my life is meaningless.

being alone doesnt effect instantly. it kills u with the time without even realizing. 

i have no one to talk about what ive been through in life, even if reach this place that people think im already succeed, the wounds are still fresh & untreated bc no one knows how painful my journey. 

my mental health is getting worse that i cant even talk for days. im trying to talk.

" يُحاول أن يكُون مُطمئِنًا 
          فِي واقِعٍ لا يكترثُ لهَ ".