When I was in my last year in middle school (in Belgium), my teachers told me I was aloud to go to high school. So I could go to high school, because I was smart enough to just skip my last year of middle school. I thought about it and eventually I did it. So I went to high school, all alone and I’ll never forget that first of September in 2009.
I was standing with some ‘friends’ that I had from the school that I went to for middle school, but I didn’t really knew them because they were all one year older than me. I was just standing there and that moment I realized I didn’t fit in. I didn’t belong there. I shouldn’t be around all these ‘big’ kids at a new school, without any of my friends. I realized I had made a big mistake. When I came home the first thing I did was cry, just cry. I had made a huge mistake and I couldn’t fix it. 
To make it even more terrible for me, I fell in love with a guy from my class, but he didn’t like me. In fact, he hated me. That was the first time I got my heart broken. I realized it was always going to be like that, me falling in love with guys that are older than me, them breaking heart. 
The first month of school I didn’t have friends. All the friends that I made after that month? I hate them. With a few exceptions they are all terrible people. But I don’t want to be alone again so I just hang around them. I don’t have a best friend because all the ‘best friends’ that I had, they just bailed on me. I don’t believe in the term best friends, because one way or another, one day you’ll have enough of that person, that’s just the way it is.
I’m not in love now, I think I’m kinda protecting myself from another heart break. I’m not allowing myself to love. I can’t.

You probably don't care about all this shit but I was writing and suddenly I just wanted to let all of it out, thanks for reading though.