It's been fun everybody, but I'm going dormant. But, really, just pretend I went through with deleting it instead of backing out of it in fear of scrutiny. Let me leave this part of me behind.
I'll admit that part of me will miss the person I was back in the day, when this account was first created. That girl had the confidence that I lack nowadays. If she wanted to add her say into something, she'd do it without hesitation. If she wanted to get something done, she'd do it. Part of me wants that back.
But that girl was naive and reckless. She'd shout her life story from the highest of rooftops, not realizing the consequences. She was unaware of how much people can suck. She believed, with blind optimism, that if she told people to stop hating each other, that they would. She believed to much and questioned too little. She followed what seemed popular, without questioning if what she was doing was what she really wanted.
In an effort to stand out, she lost some of her sense of self. She was so desperate to seem normal, that she stopped being an individual. A carbon copy of the loudest person. A copy of people who others seemed to like.
In the end, that copy had become my identity in real life as well.
I guess I'm desperately hoping that leaving my younger self behind, that I will regain the last of my sense of self that I never truly regained.
You all were so kind. I've said that already, but it's true. However, I'd be an idiot if I thought that some people wouldn't be bitter about me leaving. I'd be no better than the naive little girl I used to be five years ago. And really, it's been an okay five years. This site was an important part of my childhood, that is something I cannot deny.
