Criticisms on my work is appreciated! It will help me change Gears Legacy from something average into a truly epic book!

Hi all, I am a 17 year old guy, just starting university majoring in Software engineering. I started writing my first novel a few years ago. Unfortunately, I had a fairly busy life and I dumped the project. Looking back, it had a pretty lame plot. One year I started writing a 'short' story for school, and came up with an excessively long story that I decided had potential to keep going. That short story is now a short section that forms a part of Gears Legacy

Other than writing, I enjoy making video games. Currently I am making a bunch of arcade games all with an abstract art style (because I suck at every other style)

I play soccer and do karate, but I don't enjoy watching either of them, so you won't catch me watching FIFA games.

I listen to a LOT of music too. While reading, writing and gaming you will probably find me plugged in. I listen to bands like Avantasia, Bon Jovi, Thousand foot krutch, Kamelot, Monstercat, Nightwish, Skillet, Sonata Arctica, Stratovarius and a many more. TL;DR I like music.

Gaming is fun. I don't think I need to explain why.

I also watch tons of anime. Especially now that I have been waiting to start university for the past months. Check out my profile on MAL and send me a friend request if you are interested! 
http://myanimelist.net/profile/Jonodonozym

Also, don't be afraid to just say hi and start a conversation with me if you're bored!