First is the hate, then comes the hurt. We hate because the focus is on blaming someone else; we hurt because we realize that the only one to blame is ourselves. Having someone die is much easier than losing someone for other reasons. If they're dead, our own guilt is not living and breathing, therefore we have no reason to think of it. But when your own faults are apparent due to the warm body that showed our flaws to us, it consumes every thought I'm every waking moment of our existence. Truthfully, we'd all prefer to stay asleep and keep dreaming; the nightmares of reality are much worse than the nightmares our subconscious creates. Alas, we all must wake up. Some of us hardly sleep, some don't dream, some refuse to wake up, and others are in the constant cycle of waking and dreaming: experiencing both real nightmares and ones of the subconscious mind. Perhaps, some of us were just made to suffer... In a constant state of pain, guilt, and nightmares.