Joshua_Blanker

Sometimes I feel like a monster,
          	I didn't want to be this way,
          	I was made this way.
          	The voices in my head scream YES,
          	but the voices in my heart whisper "no"
          	and they come together to say:
          	"It deasn't matter anymore"
          	Do as you like

Joshua_Blanker

Can I fall asleep
          and never wake up?
          Can I get stuck
          in anothet hell?
          In a nightmare
          created in the back of my mind?
          I can't see anymore light...
          And these dark tunnels...
          are killing my valor
          and instaling those needs
          for suicidal deeds.
          
          
          Please tell 'em you
          have no plans for me...
          I will set my soul in fire.
          What have I become.... 
          I'm sorry

Joshua_Blanker

Try livin' in the world without color
          Everyday could we know nothing other,
          ...
          Is this just me,
          'cause I feel like this is not how it should be.
          But the conclusion is this,
          if you were to go, you will be missed.
          ... 
          One day it'll... get better...

Joshua_Blanker

Am I the only one I know
          Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
          Shadows will scream that I'm alone
          ... 
          Let it be said what the headache represents
          It's me defending in suspense
          It's me suspended in a defenseless test
          Being tested by a ruthless examiner
          That's represented best by my depressing thoughts
          I do not have writer's block my writer just hates the clock
          It will not let me sleep I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead
          And sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head
          ... 
          My mind's ship-wrecked this is the only land my mind could find
          I did not know it was such a violent island
          Full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions
          They're trying to eat me, blood running down their chin
          And I know that I can fight, or I can let the lion win

Joshua_Blanker

I'm so afraid of what you have to say
          'Cause I am quiet now and silence gives you space.
          
          I, I'll never be, be what you see inside
          You say I'm not alone, but I am petrified
          You say that you are close, is close the closest star?
          You just feel twice as far, you just feel twice as far.