Juicy5527

I got curry

momokanokare

TO juicy5527
          ABT the graveyard shift
          
          
          feedback so far;
          the premise is very intriguing. ivan is hot, brooding, vampiric really. female lead sounds relatable & awesome, i am antisocial myself, oh the number of times i get recommended night jobs! haha. after reading this, i just might get into it.
          anyways. i like sig too. i feel he deserves more love. we stan hyper characters! they fr lighten the space. i used to love those classmates whose sole intention of appearance was to waste teacher's time. good times!
          go easy on the adverbs. not every dialogue needs a following action.
          
          "you can just break the sentence," she said.
          
          "and add the next part here."
          
          dude, you aint very good w chapter names either. kind of driving the readers out. try :
          
          chapter one format OR
          chapter i thing. roman numerals make sense since vampires are groovy!!! idk. you can also try naming chapters after colours like crimson, obsidian, crimson, so on. 
          
          other than that, fantabulous read! update soon. xoxo
          
          PS. longer chapters??

Juicy5527

@momokanokare omg just logged in after a while and I'm super stoked to see you're messages!! The writing gets better as the story progresses tbh as ive grown a lot as a writing since starting this project! Def thinking about keeping up with the story again so thank you for all the comments and feedback!
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