stan zoloft (my life has significantly improved since i started this silly blue pill and i love life)
anyways things do get better, even if the “better” isn’t quite what i hoped it would be. i think being happy and excited about life again is all i should’ve ever asked for, because it truly changes everything. do i have a close-knit group of friends again? no, but do i have people in my life i’m excited to see and i care about deeply? yes. am i in love again? no, but i’m in love with myself atp like i love me and i feel like that’s enough right now. i don’t know why i’m writing this here, but i guess i’m drawn here to say this all. no social media app i could post this on would take my words as just my inner thoughts. writing these silly little stories when i was 13–16 was honestly something that really kept me going. i didn’t feel so alone for even just a moment. does it help now? no, but that’s because i find myself too busy to write or too uninspired. this isn’t my rock anymore, but i do try to tend to it on occasion.
because of these stories i’m still here today, and i’m so happy for that. i was so embarrassed about this part of my life for so long, and still get some judgement for it here and there. but none of what others said ever mattered, because it mattered to me. because it kept me alive at the end of the day. and here i am, and i love you all even if most of you have grown up, too.
happy suicide awareness month everyone. please stay safe and please feel free to reach out to me for literally anything. i’m here for y’all <3