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Hey angel it’s been a while...I wanted to know if your doing ok <3

I can’t be on here anymore.. I’m sorry guys... try to find my discord on here 
          
          Please

I'm gonna have to be a lot more careful sneaking on here. My parents caught my brother sneaking on his phone last night and I'm scared they might catch me too.. Just know that if I disappear not to worry too much... Bye

I'm so tired. I don't know why, but I'm suddenly starting to feel like I want to cut as much as I can. I mean... I got long, fingerless gloves today so I can hide my cuts, right? Plus it's not like it'd matter. Soon enough everyone will hate me anyways. I'm trying my best to get everyone to hate me. I deserve it. Plus, once everyone despises me then I can do whatever I want to myself right? I could cut as much as I want. I could drink, smoke, do whatever. I could even commit suicide! Haha... Thinking about it just makes my heart feel cold. Soon enough you will all hate me. I'll make you hate me. Don't worry.

Okay I know I said I'm going on a break but-
          I'm addicted to this damn website- 
          I can't do it-
          Hah-

From now on, since I'm going on that short break (yes, I decided I will be doing it), I will just put my mood as my name! Cause why not?

I'll probably be taking a short break. Like, a week maybe. I just.. I know why I've been so depressed. It started off with me just talking about how I am upset over a few things to everyone worrying about me all the time. That's some of the reason why I've been so depressed. A little bit of it some issues with friends. Some issues with my girlfriend. Some issues with family. I just need a break from here. And technically, I won't completely be gone. I'll be coming on here as much as I can to talk to certain people in PM but that is it. The main person I'll be talking to is @Black-Blood_Stars because I can't stand not talking to her, and I was locked out of my twitter account. So until my Twitter account is fixed I will be coming on here. Rarely. Just to talk to some people and check notifications. Alrighty. Bye.

I should not have looked up self harm (trying to find some alternatives that will work for me). The pictures I saw just raised my anxiety to a WHOLE new fucking level. Haha.

I'm tired of trying to love or be loved. I'm tired of it. It has crossed my mind a few times and I thought, "Things will get better"
          But they aren't getting better. At this rate, they never will. I love my girlfriend so much but we constantly argue. We constantly give each other the cold shoulder. We pay more attention to our friends then each other. I don't know how to help her. She doesn't know how to help me. I try and comfort her when she is upset, but she never actually tries to comfort me back. All she says is, "I can't comfort anyone. Sorry.". At least, that is what she said last time I needed comfort. That was about a week ago. Since then, she has thought I've been fine. She has thought that I was okay. But not. I'm not. And I can't break up with her, either. I'm used to getting MY heart broken. Not the other way around. Plus, I love her. So much. I would do anything for her. I don't know what to do anymore. Haha. What if she doesn't love me as much as I love her? Heh.

Haha- I need help- Do I need help? I think I need help- I don't know. My fucking wrist hurt from last night- I don't even know why I did it either. I didn't remember myself doing it either- I was gonna go to bed and I closed my eyes but I woke up with a broken piece of glass in my hand shortly after. It was bloody and I was wondering why and then I looked at my wrist and saw the cuts. I count them- Eighteen- Help- I need help- I don't know what to do anymore- Don't know how it happened- I just... did it. Please- Someone- Help me- 
          Haha- 
          Bro I straight up feel like the ability to feel is slowly being sucked out of me. One of my closest friends was about to kill herself today and I love her so much (not romantically-) but I only felt a little bit of panic in the beginning and I just gave up. God damn- Hahaha.