K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

I think I broke the tagging on one of my books-
          
          no idea how but whenever I try and tag something new the tag will disappear and I can't add another until I click on something else and it doesn't save
          
          I don't know how I managed to do this but i tried it on one of my other books and tagging works perfectly fine, so if anyone knows anyway to fix this please tell me I'm trying to update the book and not being able to correctly tag it is annoying.

K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

Ever been a prodigy child that got everything on the first go and now every time you can't do something on the first try you think of yourself as a failure and refuse to try and better yourself even though you know that if you actually decided to put in the effort you would maybe just maybe be good at something and finally appease your ungodly high standards that you put for yourself.

K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

Okay because I'm dumb I am only now realizing that I've been here for a little over a year? Like when the hell did that happen? Anyways! This is just my way of saying Happy one plus year here and thank you so much to everyone who has followed me and read my books, being able to read the comments on my books always warms my heart and just me into the mood of writing even if it just for a little bit. So I just want to say thank you, even though it may not seem like much I really do appreciate the people who read my books and follow me.

K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

Do you ever just not want to talk to people? 
          
          Like I just got done with school so you'd think that I would be happy to talk to my friends and both me and my girlfriend are off school so we can finally talk without getting interrupted but I just don't want to, I don't want to talk to either of my friends even though they've made the effort to talk to me to the point where they are texting me asking if I'm okay.
          
          And I want to be like "Oh yeah I'm doing great, sorry I've been ignoring you let call and talk and hang out" but for whatever reason I don't want to, all I want to is sit in my bed and do thing and let my brain rest on auto pilot and I know that isn't healthy and I shouldn't be doing it so why do I want to do it? These are my friends I should text them and give them a proper apology instead of some half assed sorry over text.
          
          I just don't know what is wrong with me and I need to know if anyone else has felt this way and am I a bad person for feeling this way

K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

this message may be offensive
Maybe I do this because I want to feel like I am needed, a lot of my life people have just ignored me and maybe, just maybe, having people seek me out and seek out my attention makes me feel like I am actually wanted and I'm just here as another body or another extra in someones extravagant plot line
            
            Or I'm just and attention seeking whore, wanting for someone to see this and take pity on me because I can't seem to man the fuck up and deal with my own problems. Who the fuck knows?
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K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

this message may be offensive
warning: cursing, mentions of SA, and a bad home life
          
          I am fucking fuming.  I have a girlfriend who doesn't have a good home life, and about 10 minutes ago she calls me balling her eyes out because not only is some asshole family "friend" living in her house telling her parents that they should beat her and her siblings but her parents have also been calling her a disappointment, and i am the most pissed off because I can't do anything to help her. She lives in another city so I can't go and take her away from that house. And its not like her so called friends are even helping with them just telling her to stand up for herself which if she does could get her hurt or them just flat out telling her that her parents wouldn't hit her because her parents are white and white parents don't do that. She told me that she would rather be SA at school than be in her home environment. The worst thing is if I were to call the cops they wouldn't do anything because I 1) live in another city and 2) her family from the outside looks normal like her parents would never hurt their kids. and as her boyfriend all I can do I say "wait it out a little longer till you can move out"? Or reassure her that I love her and that I'm on her side. I don't want her to just wait and be in that environment for any longer, i want her to be safe, I want to be able to make her feel loved. and I know I can do that by telling her I love her but if I can't take her out or buy her gifts how will she know that I truly love her. and I can't tell my parents "hey can my girlfriend stay with us" because we are keeping our relationship secret.
          
          I apologize for this I just need to vent to someone, anyone, about this and i don't have a therapist and my friends are asleep right now.

K1ngsl3y0fH3arts

So uh cute little thing that just happened-
          
          (For context it is the middle of the night)
          
          So I left my room to wash my face (my bathroom is connected to my room) and I came back and my door was wide open. And I know it was closed before because I let my cat out of the room hours ago and I haven't left my room since then, and my cat can't open the doors.
          
          So to whatever demon let itself into my room either you be useful and help me write or you leave and go bother someone else, just sayin'.