MOSHINE

nothing's new, I'm fvcking tired

My younger self and me...
          
          Hi my younger self, I know that we will carry all this trauma for the rest of our lives.
          
          But I'm happy now...
          
          I'm not alone here, unlike you who are always alone
          
          But I know I was imprisoned with you in the past..
          
          and our trauma will never go away, but there are people who are ready to fight for us.
          
          there are people who believe in us but there are people who don't believe in us.
          
          but I'm still happy even though I'm imprisoned with you I'm happy because without you I can't do all the things I promised you.
          
          I told you before that when we turn 18, we will look for a job and get rid of the person who gave us trauma and after that we will give justice to everyone he hurt.
          
          I can do a lot here, I'm not weak like you anymore.
          
          so hopefully we can both be free from the past...
          
          I want to be happy without remembering what was done to us before, I want to be free and start new memories without worrying.
          
          Thank you for being my motivation in everything, my younger self, I am proud of you because we made it. 
          
          I will give you a hug that will remind you that you are very brave and wise.
          
          

          
          I'm sorry if I choose to be selfish now, I'm sorry if people are having a hard time because of me, I don't know what I should because I'm having a hard time too. 
          
          I don't want to make it difficult for them either, but they give me strength to fight those who deserve to be punished. 
          
          I understand that he is our family even though he disrespected me and gave me a trauma that I will carry for the rest of my life.
          
           but I'm here now... 
          
          they gave me the courage to give justice to what he did to me but the exchange of that is being difficult for her brother/sister and his  parents.I understand  but I hope they understand me too.
          
           I've been hiding it for a long time, I've endured it for a long time, I've had to suffer alone because of what he did to me,  I hope they let me get my wish that I've been waiting for a long time.
          
          
          
          
          

how lucky am i??
          
           My first goal when I was a child was to find a job when I turned 18, I did it 
          
          The second thing I said when I was young was that I would find a job and leave our house, I did it again
          
           the third is to face my fears. I did it again
          
           the fourth thing is to get the justice that I said when I was a child that I would jail the person who gave me trauma, I can do it now
          
           I'm proud of myself because everything I said before, I've done and I can move forward, I'm happy because I'll get the justice I want for all my trauma.

it's my birthday I want to see you labi:⁠'⁠(

I really love this man so much.
          
          I remember how he smiled and laughed.
          
          I want to see that every day.

i miss you so much drx:⁠'⁠(

Back then, I always asked myself what was wrong with me, why did such pain happen to me in my life.
          
           now... 
          
          I know why because I'm one of those people who need to be hurt to learn, need to suffer before being able to think properly.
          
          now I can't say that my suffering is over but I can say that I am very lucky now.
          
          
          I'm very lucky because I have friends who are always there for me, and the man I love still chose me even though I hurt him before. and the mother of the person I love loves me too. How can I say that his mother loves me? because her mom always listens to me, she is the number one supporter in everything I do even if it's just a small thing for me, she always cheers me up, she always tells me "take care always, I'm proud of you I love you " I didn't even receive it from my own mother
          
          
          I'm so lucky because of you, Drix, I don't know how to thank you kasi kulang pa yung salitang salamat sa mga binigay at ginawa mo sakin.
          
          
          
          
          
          

enjoying my life with you and my friend's, I'm so grateful 

I'm very lucky because of you, I didn't blame my failures before because it was because of you. We deserve each other. the best feeling is that we build confidence and we grow at the same time. my lolo will be happy when he meets you because I found a man who can teach me the right things and help me with things I can't do.