birbs

Since may i've been going to the hospital for the same reason, it started as fucking hell and then i had surgery, something i've never experienced in my life, it was good, for the most part until it wasn't anymore, i went a few days ago for the same reason and my hopes were a little bit high, but its starting to go downhill again, im so tired of taking pill after pill after pill, i'm so tired of my body being like this, i dont have cancer or anything that serius, but it has something to do with my private part and it hurts a lot, im so tired of being so scared to go to the toilet because i know it hurts like a bitch, im tired, what the hell im i doing wrong, i fear that once again its gonna go the same path as it did in the past, i wish i could just go back in time and tell my younger self to just fucking knock it off and take care of myself more, to be more obserbant, to be better so i dont turn out like this, but alas is real life we're talking about

Can't believe Technoblade has passed, i just met him three years ago and it feels like a really long time, he has helped me when i was feeling down, as many other people, and since yesterday i just couldn't stop crying, i thought the title of that video was a joke, a classic technoblade joke, i was smiling with this thought, then the smile faded as fast as it came, it wasn't a joke, and his father was saying his last words, i really, as many others were hoping to a "got you nerds!, i'm out of the hospital!!" but it wasn't like that, and obviously i began to tear up, i just couldn't take it, i hope technoblade is rulling wherever he is right now, and FUCK YOU CANCER you always take what is precious to me, and to many people, 
          
          "If god sends me to hell, i want him to hesitate" 
          
          i hope he has, i hope you are okay now, i hope, at least in another life, we can both exist at the same time.
          
          The world misses you, Alex, i trully miss you already, you will never EVER be forgotten in our hearts, we love you, goodbye king o7.