Hi,
Nabasa ko yung ilang chapters ng story mo na "Kiara Scarlet Sandoval". Naka sampu na yata ako hindi kasama yung Prologue. Let me be a critique if you may. About sa plot ng story, maganda yung plot. Gusto kong tapusin yung 56 entries or chapter bago ko sana husgahan yung obra mo. Di ko ito ipinost mismo sa comment. Dito na lang. I hope hindi mo ito mamasamain. Just to help kasi you have the talent to be a good writer. Polishing lang ng style, editing ng grammar both in English and Filipino.
Then medyo bawasan yung pagiging maligoy ng kwento. Napuna kong maraming karakter na medyo nakalilito ang characterization at over-all impact ng kwento. Di ko maintindihan kung typos lan yung after a million years ay narating din nila ang Pilipinas from the US. Akala ko sci-fi ito na parang time travel matapos ang dramatic Prologue.
I think with a good editing, mas gaganda ang dating ng kwento. Pwede kasing bawasan ang ilang chapters na redundants at hindi mahalaga sa kwento. Yung first ten chapters actually ay pwedeng pagtatluhin lang para ma establish kung paano nagkakilala si Terron at si Scarlet, at yung makilala ng mga kaibigan ni Terron na naging sanhi ng bangungot na kahapon ni Scarlet o ni Kiara as she was known before. Actually, I like the plot and the story. I hope to finish it and comment at the end. Kasi, sa later chapters napuna kong may improvements ang dialogues at narratives. Pumipino na siya. Gano'n naman talaga. Practice makes perfect. Keep on writing author. You won't be a frustrated writer at the end, believe me.
