It's been along time since I've posted on the site. When I was younger I used to write all the time, about everybody and everything that I interacted with. It was important to me – the need to express my view on the world was something that I deemed essential and I believed that somebody out there would be positively affected by it. I believed that if at least one person out there was happy to read my words and learn something from it, then perhaps my life has meaning.
None of those people I once wrote about are in my life anymore. All of the things that I used to write about, everything that once held so much meaning to me has faded into obscurity and I can't help but be saddened by the loss of innocence that vanished in a blaze of smoke that I don't even remember exhaling.
All the things that once felt like it was life or death for me at the time suddenly faded into obscurity and I can't help but be saddened by the deep realization that things aren't as meaningful to me as they used to be and I don't think they ever will be again. Perhaps it was the substance abuse, perhaps it was the emotional terrorism that was exhibited towards my weak and draining mind for so many years, or maybe it was the loss of my own sensibilities and a lack of awareness as my sense of morality became more and more blurred..
