KatelynEllaFaith

Nvm I took it off, too personal.

I just published a poem, well, I wouldn’t necessarily call it a poem. A look into who I am. 

In search of a story so beautiful, yet tragic. Any suggestions? Can have a sad ending. 

Someone please tell me if they relate to this. 
          
          My mental state has changed a lot over the past few months. I graduated high school, I got a job, I managed to get an amazing boyfriend. Man, my dog even passed away 8 months ago. I’m still catching myself thinking he’s here sometimes. Through all of that, I’ve found myself not wanting to finish the books I’ve completed. I wrote them as a different person. I now see them as just...childish. I had no idea what a real relationship was like. I never had a job. I never experienced true love. Truthfully, as much as I liked to think I was an adult, and mature at the ages 15, 16 and even 17, I wasn’t. I’m only 18 and I know for a fact I’m not an adult. But I don’t want to write in those books anymore. They don’t seem...good. They aren’t. I’m aware of that. Truth is, I want to write about things that I can put my heart into. So as much as I loved writing my books, and as much as I would love to complete some, I physically can’t. Even my mental state won’t allow. It’s frustrating. But where do I go from here? What do I write? Should I rewrite them? I would love to. I have tried. I don’t know anymore. 

:( man it’s always sad to see writers lose their love for writing. 

Can’t wait to finish a book so I can just publish it all.

Update on my mental health:
          We’re doing okey. We have bad days and good days. But we always make it through. I’ve been reading a lot lately which really helps. Like, when I say a lot I mean probably three books a week. Would finish one every day but I can’t spend the rest of my senior year reading. And my teacher would get annoyed for having to send me down every day. Also have been working on my stories and just taking time to breathe. 
          
          It does get better guys. One day at a time. Every breath you take gets you closer to one that you can finally, truly breathe. 2019 hasn’t been the greatest, but honestly compared to everyone else I’m so blessed. It’s all just my head, and my head is a dumb dumb. So tell your dumb head to shut up and to let you be happy. 
          
          You deserve happiness. Always. 

Lmao I updated all of my stories so yay me! 

It’s a confidence issue, which is why I haven’t been updating my stories. 

I just feel as if my chapters aren’t worthy to be out there. They aren’t good, and I don’t know how to fix it all. I have no idea how to fix something so simple. I got this though.