I just got back from my middle school dance or whatever it was called, which i hated btw. during my school dance today i was miserable to put it lightly,  let me explain what i went through in the half hour i actually was there. there was the 'overly excited blonde', the 'annoying blonde' screaming in my ear, then there was the 'fuck me' girl fucking shaking her ass In front of the 'sporty boy', then you have me who sits in the back trying not to be seen and fails miserably and literally gets asked BY THE TEACHERS "why aren't you dancing with the others your still young and able to have fun GO HAVE FUN!" like bitch if I'm not dancing then i don't wanna dance, I'm not one of these cringy tiktok kids who shake their ass for views I'm not gonna "have fun" especially when i know that I'm gonna be bullied by these same people that they tell me to "have fun" with the minute you look away. and of course when i finally ended up leaving the party i sliped on some kind of drink someone must have spilled, everyone was laughing at me and the my "friend's" group of tormenters poured a glass of the punch on my white sweat shirt. btw i hate dresses it was either casual clothes or i don't go at all, which is what i wanted but my mom wanted me to enjoy myself so i tried for her. she doesn't know about my "Friend" bulling me my whole life and nor is she gonna know, but yeah that's what happened. 
          
          i am currently sitting in the park outside my home where i usually hang out by myself.
          
          
          
          and now i just saw my "friend" got to walk, more like run to my house before i 'uncontrollably' punch her in the face

i have had a..."friend" in my life ever since i was around three she was never 'nice' to me usually tbh she would bully me, today she wet too far when she said to "go do it, commit suicide no one would give two shits anyways!" cause she saw that i had self harm cuts on my arm. what she said fucking hurt i wanted to punched her in the face but i only left school early today cause i didn't want people to have another reason to bully me. the problem is that even though she is a huge ass i consider her a friend and this fucking hurt my mental healthYes this happened today, Please don't tell my brother/non-binary sibling, they doesn't know and i don't want them to....