Hold the mother, not the baby.
Because the baby’s being taken care of—
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—
by not only the mother,
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.
But the mother,
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,
may feel more like a mess than a mother,
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.
So, hold the mother, not the baby.
A mother agrees that her baby matters more.
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,
in the background, making it all happen:
feeding her baby at all hours,
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,
and being that baby’s everything.
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.
And a mother will remember who held her up.
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”
try saying, “I’m coming to see you meet the baby, too.”
Because the mother needs to be held more.
