ellis

ao3 is down so i’ve returned hi, probably won’t post anything tbh but know i’m lurking

it’s my birthday :)

leaving for the funeral in 15 lol

when the first day of pride is also your dads funeral and also four days before your birthday

when almost all of your comfort streamers are streaming at the same time and you have to switch between like every two minutes

just gave myself a stick and poke feeling good! it hurts but not nearly as bad as i thought it would, i’ll post a picture once it’s healed if anyones interested?

MAJOR TW SH i was so fucking close to being one year clean, i had just a few weeks and one fucking breakdown caused me to relapse and now i hate myself so much fucking more and i don’t know how to cope with this shit

we’ve gotten 2 feet of snow already today and it’s still going, how fun

ALSO i have purple highlights now :D i love em so much!

i’m this close to starting cosplaying, someone tell to do it and i fucking will man
          
          like i’ve wanted to since i was 11 but i live in a ✨financially abusive✨ household, basically meaning my mother goes to great lengths to keep me from having any sort of money but i might be able to start selling me art online soon meaning i’d get my own bank account finally (it’s somethings she’s been trying to prevent me from doing for that reason)
          
          i’d have to make a new tiktok for it since i want to keep my main separate but like- i’d happily do so lmao
          
          ahh i have the stuff to closet cos norman from tpn and if i can get a white skirt i could probably find a way to cos emma
          
          i also just need to get a white t-shirt as a layering piece and i’d have tommy! and i might be able to pull off an amity soon sooo
          
          should i? idk but i want to? but i’m scared? i’m so confused why are emotions like this-