TW: Vent (I think?)
I hate my anxiety so much. I had to skip an entire event after being there for only 15 mins and I had to make up an entire lie just to leave with no questions asked and I cried the entire way home because I couldn't handle the fact that I felt so guilty for lying, I feel so goddamn useless simply for the fact that I have emotions and I cried, but I just can't handle the fact that the guilt is genuinely so overwhelming and the event was so overwhelming I could barely do anything without feeling like everyone was looking at me because of my social anxiety and my anxiety in general, it's hard to face the fact that I hate that part of me even though I can't do anything about it. I never want to show my face at that place ever again because of embarrassment and shame.
