Heyy.. So I made the decision to drop the Wednesday fic for several reasons.
1) which I think is the most important to address is I am a survivor of SA for 4-5 years now.. I was a child back then and I didn't know any better and as I grew older It only got worse with my habit of slef-blaming. I had healed from it before.. But that was only last year when he went abroad. He came back earlier this year and my trauma resurfaced. I had paranoia, anxiety, panic attacks. And then I finally had the courage to tell my mom about it and she was furious sure... But later when I asked for therapy she just told me to pray for God to help me through it and that I don't need to get therapy. Idk... I felt like she invalidate my feelings then when I was at my most vulnerable.
2) I am now older and more mature. So writing the fanfic had me feeling weird. I'm really sorry guys..
3) is I'm graduating high school. So I don't really have that much time for myself because of the work load of students with research papers, projects, and work immersions.
So I'm 17. Graduating student with a lot of trauma.
I really asses myself around last month because I had been forcing myself to write the fic but it wasn't clicking anymore with so many stuff to balance.
Thus I made the decision today to drop it. I'm not sure if maybe I'll give it to a friend to refine and continue but we'll see.
So taking a break from wattpad, I want to really work on myself to heal and get better in school because I'm actually the oldest of my sisters(11 & 5) and the burden of being the one to support the family is heavy on my shoulders. I am the one they will be relying on in 4 years time and if I had this trauma and also another part-time hobby I dedicate hours to wasn't going to be good for me.
I hope you understand y'all. I pray for all of your safety and protect against any of these things I had experienced and if you did, I wish you a journey of healing.
-Ami
