Khyver

"Papa told me to take care of you" he said flatly "but how can i do this kung ganyan ka sakin?"
            
            I stop in a little. Anong paki nang tatay niya sakin? Eh siya nga ang tunay na anak diba! The hell them!.
            
            "I don't need your fucking care!" Mariing sigaw ko.
            
            "He told me everything" pag papatuloy niya "About your father, na nag crash ang eroplanong sinasakyan niya. Yung sa flashdrive, na nag lalaman nang mga documents at titulo nang company.  At kong paano inutusan si papa na gawin ang pinag uutos nang papa mo"
            
            I smirked "bakit mo sinasabi yan? Kasi naaawa ka?"
            
            "No! Is not it" depensa niya.
            
            "Tangina harvin! Akala ko buong buhay ko perpekto na!" My voice cracked "pero nagising ako sa isang kasinungalingan na ang kinikilala ko bilang ama ay isa palang pag papanggap"
            
            And all these distraction. yet I still end up missing the two person I have. Ganun naman talaga diba? Kahit wala kang ginagawang masama, iiwan at iiwan ka parin nila. I hate the pact that I'm drained in problem na hindi ko naman ginawa.
            
            Minsan iniisip ko nalang na "Sometimes I wish I were the ocean, so I wouldn't feel like I'm drowning in problems I never created. I wish I were the sun, so every night, I could finally rest"
            
            I laughed in out of mind. Na parang tatawa nang wala naman nakakatawa. Even thought it hurts so damn bad, but I still laugh.
            
            "I lose you! I lose my mother! I lose everything I have! I lose myself too! Di kona alam kong paano ako babangon harvin" nangangatal na saad ko.
            
            But the real loser is me, when I say it's all okay but deep down I wish the world were more kind and gentle to me.
            
            I sobbed. Vision blurred. Shaking knees. I didn't see myself from draining but I feel myself from hurting.
            
            "I thought you are my ally! But it truly is! You're my god damn enemy!"
            
            "Oo! Hindi ko sinabi sayo nung una dahil tangina! Ikaw nalang meron ako eh!"
            
            I love him because I thought he love me much.
            

"Iniwan moko harvin!" Buong lakas kung sigaw "Ngayun! Masaya kana? Kasi nasa'yo na siya? Hindi kana mabubully? Hindi kana masasaktan! Hindi kana mangungulila!"
            
            "No-" he said, sounding like pleading. But I cut him, dahil ayaw ko na siyang pakinggan.
            
            "Stop your freaking saying something like you're pleading me to forgive you!" I angrily shout.
            
            All I could see on him was pain. He looked pleading. With broke. But I didn't careless, dahil nung nasaktan ako, wala siyang ginawa kung hindi ang iwan ako. 
            
            "Are you still trying to save us?" I tilted my head " you wish!" 
            
            I laughed disgusting "you know! I'm a fool! I'm too fool of you!"
            
            Something stab in my chest. I feel heavy. Nag pakatanga ako, I choose him because I love him. Pinili ko siya dahil siya nalang ang meron ako. Pero hindi ko inisip kong ano ang magiging resulta noon.

CHAPTER 31
            
            "Bakit ka nandito?" I ask him.
            
            He was standing inback of me. I feel his presence but I didn't care, I was nothing to care of it, I'm full of numb because of so many years, ngayun lang siya nag pakita. He's the reason why I've been trying to kill myself. He's the reason why I've broke into many pieces. He's the reason why I've got a mental break down. 
            
            He was the one I know how to fight on. Pero anong ginawa niya? He make it clear to me, he did nothing but to careless. Nag makaawa ako sa kanya dahil hindi ko naman kasalanan, pero Iniwan niya parin ako. 
            
            Dahil ano? Dahil akong yung dahilan kung bakit siya binully nung bata pa siya? Pero sinabi ko naman sa kaya na di ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit sila iniwan nang tatay niya.
            
            "Lea sorr-" 
            
            "Sorry for what?!" I cut on him "huli na harvin. I was too numb for hurting. I was too drained for fighting!"
            
            It's hard to admit, but I'm burned out. I feel drained, unmotivated and tired in ways that every night of trying to sleep, it can't fix. I'm trying, but everything feels heavier than it should. Dahil sa bawat minuto, siya ang nasa-isip ko.
            
            Kahit sa panaginip siya ang nakikita ko. Sa bawat tulog ko, pakiramdam ko, hawak niya ako. Ang hirap mabuhay sa mundo, kong nakakulong ka sa masasakit na ala-ala. Because you can't unlock a new door if the hand was holding full of old key.
            
            "Tangina!" A one tear fall into my jaw "it wasn't my fault! It wasn't my mistake! Tangina sabi ko unawain moko eh! Pero anong ginawa mo?" 
            
            I look at him straight with angry. The caregivers entered inside the room. But I didn't give them look.

@juanyctophi hi! Thank you for reading 'lea's' story. I make chapter 31 for advanced, just to make all readers even more excited. I'll announce that when I've finished the flaws. 
            
            This is khyver the new author •⁠ᴗ⁠•