Kickstick

Lol
          	
          	byeeeee

Mangopaw101

@Kickstick 
          	  Where did you go?
          	  I dont understand?
          	  um is that a bad thing?
          	  help...*brain overfries*
• Reply

Mangopaw101

Hey Friend! I uploaded a Story called Chesire, I would like some suggestions on how to improve it and what I might have done wrong! Think you can help?!

Mangopaw101

thanks Jello!
            I call all friends Jello!
• Reply

Kickstick

I read it and I think the plot so far is pretty good. Add more description to things (like actions) and then make the relationship between the reader and creepypastas take a while to develop. That second one is just a tip, you don’t have to do it. 
            
            But the first, I highly suggest you doing. 
            
            I think it’ll eventually get pretty popular if you regularly update it, because the plot is decent and you’re writing is better than a lot of writers on here (like, a lot) 
            
            
            I hope this helps !!
• Reply

Mangopaw101

Ello. The names Mangopaw, 
          Would you like a brain,
          Cause it’s clear that you don’t have one,
          That would was a joke, pleaser don’t hurt me
          I would like to be your friend, what do you say?
          Do we have a deal kid?
          *puts out hand that’s is emitting blue flames*
          (That was a reference)

Mangopaw101

Yea!
• Reply

Kickstick

I honestly thought you were going to continue with something super offensive,
            
            But this took a turn for the best. 
            
            I mean damn son, now we’re friends 
            
            *shakes your hand*
            (Also, I gots the reference. )
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