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Feelin a lil risky might write a zoro x reader

IDK WHO TO WRITE BPUT HELP MEH PLZZZ ONE PIECE CHARACTERS MAMAS 

When ever I laugh...I sound like a car...whenever I cough...I sound like a cow...whenever I yawn...I sound like a mouse...my mother's water has broke...and I need an amputation

Feelin like a worthless piece of shit because I actually hate my appearance and I physically and mentally can't make anyone happy no matter what haha

HELP ME I need a one piece character to write bout maybe a jojo character too???

Y'all I got kicked from the volleyball team and I'm so possess