Some people light up a room when they enter.
Others do it when they leave.
Guess which one I am.
🖤

⚠️Content note: black jokes, blunt truths, and the occasional, purely fictional homicidal thought - all metaphorical, mostly therapeutic. If you can laugh at it, welcome. If not, step away.⚠️

The most important rules of life (13+1):

1. Psychologists say you'll feel good if you hug 8 people every day. 
Or if you punch one in the face with all your might...

2. You need to see 3 things crystal clear in your life:
- Yourself
- Your feelings.
- Your morning coffee! 
Coffee is fucking important! You can't even see the first two without it.

3. Live Laugh Love! If that doesn't work: Load, Aim, Shoot!

4. There are only two kinds of people in life: those who make it interesting, and those who should be NPCs.

5. In life you need three essentials: Coffee, Internet, and at least one fictional universe where people fear you. 

6. A person who doesn't read has no escape route, no backup reality, and no alibi.
You can't trust someone who only lives in one world.
Especially not this one.

7. Forgive, but never forget.
Especially, where you buried the evidence.

8. You don't need therapy.
You need a quiet room, a flamethrower , and 12 hours of uninterrupted revenge fantasies.
Side effects: clarity.

9. Don't push people away.
Just stand still and see who runs away.

10. Never underestimate the power of silence.
It's where villains plan, introverts recharge, and legends are born.
Also, where bodies disappear.

11. Some people bring light into your life.
Others... bring gasoline.
You? You bring the match. 

12. You can't manipulate someone who already knows they're unlovable.

13. Tell a dark joke.
If they flinch: NPC.
If they laugh: welcome to the cult.
And if they add a punchline? You've found your twin flame of chaos.🖤

+1
Never trust anyone who doesn't laugh at dark humor.
They're either soulless... or plotting something worse than you are.