RumpleDILFkin

I had an eventful day. 
          First- me and my friend slow danced to Welcome To The Internet. 
          Second- a guy in my class yelled “ITS NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE ALPHABET!!” This guy is a literal highschooler. 
          Third- I drew some random shapes on my crush and friends’ hands and claimed them into a cult. 
          Finally- I was being emo, and a girl called me poetic.

HE DOESN'T HATE ME!!! HE asked ME to slow dance, while Pink Pony Club played IM DYING HELP
          Also, I got an almost gf at the same time >:)

“I got an indication that [crush’s name] MIGHT NOT HATE ME” has got to be the worst way I’ve ever described my relationship status.

I hate when girls go “I WILL FUCKING FIGHT YOU!!” Because every time I reply with “do it” but they never do.

Friend: “your name in my phone is red bracelets.”
          Me: “wtf is a bread bracelet???”
          
          Me: *playing papa Louie 3* “PINEAPPLE IN A COCONUT HAT!!”
          Different friend: “that’s not a sentence I thought I’d hear today.”
          Not five seconds later
          Me: “HOW DARE THE ICE CREAM SPIT AT ME!!”
          Him: “you told it to come at you.”
          Me: “I said come at me, not spit at me. They’re two completely different things.”
          Him: “yet another thing I didn’t expect to hear today.”

My friend: “I’ll be there wearing mostly black!”
          Me: “me too.”
          Him: “ooh! Matching!”
          Me: “no. I just only wear black.”

My friend said I have a “R.E.F., resting emo face”

I just got home from my school dance. I talked to a hot girl, a cute guy came and talked to me, then a kinda cute guy ask me for my number. That’s not counting all the pretty dresses on my friends. It’s a good day to be pan

“I want to read about the two-dick dragonman.” Has got to be the best thing I’ve ever read a guy say

I swear every time I walk into a room, someone always has to say the most random thing. The other day, I come home and head to the living room and my dad says “Hello, worm!” Today, I’m headed towards where my mom and aunt are and she says “you are way too pretty to be wearing a miniskirt.” Even though I’m not pretty and I don’t see how those are related but whatever