DizzyZizzy

Me and my zucchini were cuddled up on a couch and a guy walked by and made a face that said “ew. Lesbians.” Later, a different person walked by and made a face that said “aww! Lesbians!”
          Needless to say, we had a field day

So do tell me…
          HOW DID YOU SET THE KICTHEN ON FIRE MAKING ICE-CREAM?

Working in my school garden is great and all, but when two of my chosen names are plant names, it gets really confusing. Like the other day the teacher was saying something like "we've got Iris over here..." (Talking about the flower) Another student said "lets gets get this sage off the building." (Talking about the vine) At the same time. My head swiveled in both directions, then someone behind me started actually talking to me so I spun in a circle to look at them but then got dizzy and fell on the ground 

“October. The month of goth kids and lesbians.” -my roommate

My chem teacher: *explaining the smell of ammonium* “its like cat pee”
          Me: “the stuff that the South Park characters use to go to the boob dimension?”
          Him: “… what?”
          Me: “I’m not repeating that.”
          Him: “the things I hear sophomores say…”

A guy tried to look up my skirt, so I flipped him off and yelled “if you can’t tell by my hair dye, I’m a lesbian, Jack Ass” and he left me alone :)

*me and my lab partner arguing that if I get hit by a car within the next school year, I can be the real life version of Tilly Evans*
          Me: “… so technically all I have to do is learn to ride a bike, then get hit by a car at the crosswalk on the way to—”
          My chem teacher: “WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT GETTING HIT WITH CARS! We are talking about the temperature water had to be to properly heat up a therapeutic pad!”
          *me and the cute guy who gave me some monster look at each other*
          And quite literally the entire class burst out laughing. There’s only six students in that class by the way.

My friend: “ok, question. When and what do you eat?”
          Me: “no.”
          Him: “tf you mean no?”
          “I mean no.”
          “Are you a fing vampire? You need to eat”
          “Says who?”
          “Biology.”
          “Screw biology.”

Two things. Today is “dress as your type” day at school. 
          My friend looked at me and said “are you on theme or just normal?”
          Me: “that’s the fun part. You guess.”
          
          Also: I just found out that I’m called a misanthropist. Not a vampire.

Every single time I’m sitting on the couch with my crush, Pinterest shows me pictures of emo lesbians. 
          I’m like wow, thanks. I’m over here trying to be subtle, and she looks at my phone to see that. If she hasn’t figured it out yet, I’m gonna lose my fucking mind