I have been reading over your critiques, and have been doing rewrites. I am not sure if I should edit what I have already posted, or if I should re-post as a "new" story. I will admit, I am having trouble toning down the dialogue intense style-- mind you, you're not the first to criticize me on this very point. I tend to think in terms of character dialogues whenever I begin new drafts of stories. Further, I was always discouraged from simply describing what a person is feeling; I was taught instead to convey the actions and behaviors that would indicate emotional states. That does become awkward at times. In any case, I am still working on the story, and I have an idea for what I can do with it in future, because it seems I am only writing a romance fantasy, here. If you have any more advice, or have any favorite bits of writing to which you could refer me so that I can see more clearly what you are telling me, I'd be happy to receive it/them.
