!!TW!! Major vent
I am so close to ending it. I'm slowly going insane, it's getting bad again. My maladaptive daydreams have been getting longer and have been lasting for days. My derealization episode has been going on for months but now it's gotten ten times worse. I can't directly feel my skin, like it feels like I'm touching someone else, and everything has this blurry tint. My adhd paralysis has been terrible and when I can't think of a plot for my daydreams, I get extremely upset and irritable. Everything is boring to me, I have no motivation to write or draw, and it is driving me insane. Nothing brings me joy and when I laugh, I feel as if I only do it cause someone else is. I can switch it off immediately and I feel like I'm faking everything I do.
If you read this, I'm not going to end it all. I'm just going through a rough patch.
