E M P T Y

I'm so sick and tired of not feeling okay, of not feeling complete and of just not feeling like myself.
          
          Who am I.. 

It's funny how I swore you were someone who cared so much about me. Maybe you did in a way, a way only you could understand. Whenever someone new comes into my life I compare them to you, I can't help it. You were my highest standard, yet by their side for some reason you can't compare. They actually care about me... They show me that they do every single day. I never noticed how negative you were until they came back into my life. I never realized how you slowly made me push everyone away until I was all alone... Saying that you were the only one who could ever understand me, the only one who would truly be there for me. Yet they were all lies. You never truly loved or cared for me. And yet you blame it all on me, make me feel terrible when I'm not the problem this time.

Do you even think of me?

I think I keep falling for you... 

I hate that the thought of you makes me cry now... 

I hate this feeling... 
          The feeling of feeling high, so high, feeling happy, better.
          
          Then just out of nowhere getting so fucking down.
          
          I just want to feel better for a long time... Is that too much to ask for? Sometimes I just feel like maybe they were right when they said I'd never get true happiness. 

"When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful, every hour spent together lives within my heart. And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears, and when she was happy so was I. When she loved me." 

If I could tell you...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
          
          You're so wonderful.

I think I love you...