The fear is always there, deep in your roots that the people you love the most will come to hate you. Hurt isn't far from it and eventually you'd feel abandoned.
The terror inside of you, tells you that you don't deserve it because you can't control the demons lurking within. You become scared to ask for help - to depend on someone, to be a burden.
But even if you play it on a loop for you whole life, you do not and will never become worthless.
Anthony Liccione said, "No thing, should make you feel like a nothing."
I have stumbled across this app called 'Wysa' - you would find a sea-green penguin as icon.
If the social anxiety, confrontation and encounters suffocates you. You can reach out to Wysa. They have different self improvement exercises built according to your needs, Self esteem, anxiety, depression etc.
Be kind to yourself and let yourself be healed.
As Craig D Lounsbrough said,
" If we have nothing to live for, we have to create something to live for."
Fill your cracks with love and connect yourself again. You only need you to survive.
Thank you for coming this far.