LadyLuthiriel

I’m here after 3 weeks of national internet shut downs in Iran.
          	I’m mentally exhausted so please show some extra love to these new chapters.

LadyLuthiriel

Hi everyone!
          My country is going through protests and potential war right now. (Being a Middle Eastern makes you able to say these so easily)
          In these situations the government usually shuts down the internet or any sort of mobile connection.
          Since I’m here with a VPN already, I don’t think I’d be able to put on updates if situation gets worse. So wait for me please.
          These normal parts of daily life are what people need to sacrifice for freedom and a better life for next generations, as there’s a Persian poem says:
          
          اگر که جان دادیم، وگر جوان دادیم
          بهای انسان بود، برای آزادی.
          If we gave our lives and if we gave young peopls(‘s life)
          It was because that’s humanity’s price for freedom.

AnakinSkywalker214

Hi

AnakinSkywalker214

@LadyLuthiriel okay
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LadyLuthiriel

@AnakinSkywalker214 Not bad. Just studying for university entrance exams and also have my midterm exams so…yeah I bit nervous.-
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AnakinSkywalker214

@LadyLuthiriel how are you
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LadyLuthiriel

I’ve spent lots of love into writing this. I’ll be honoured if you check it out and tell me your opinions.
          
          
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/405440978?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=LadyLuthiriel

LadyLuthiriel

First of all, thanks a lot for your feedback❤️
            About the grammatical issues, English is not my first language so it happens but I’m currently working on editing the chapter! And your opinion about more description is actually amazing. I think i was so busy writing the plot to attract the readers to my first chapter that i totally forgot about some parts, but some of the details i need for the plot. But I’ll definitely use your advice. Thank you✨
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Author_501_7567_Tano

@LadyLuthiriel 
            
            Hello there!
            Well, wasn't that an exciting tidbit?
            Pretty well written, minus a few grammatical errors and swapping between past tense, present tense, future tense. And it's not wrong or anything, but I was wondering why you put the spoken words in bold text? And perhaps you could work in descriptions of what the characters look like? A flash of hair color, a comparison of height... something subtle, but still gives you an image of the characters? Must say that I am overall intrigued with this story! I do like the way the characters interact- it pulls you right in to the story, and leaves you wanting more.
            The family dynamic feels like there's a lot of history behind it... eagerly anticipating what comes next! Keep up the good work!
            Overall... 3 1/2 out of five stars! (For comparison, I usually rate stuff I like as between 3-4 stars, and my favorites at 4-5 stars; the structure, style, and Grammer determine where each story falls in those brackets)
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