Saw your latest work, I like how you introduced stuff, but the amount of statements and what readers have to read in your by technicalities "prologue" is, well, dense. I don't mean it in a mean way, but your introducing too much for what was the beginning, if your gonna do it, do it smartly by highlighting what you need to tell the viewer. Basically hook them now and worry later. I was slightly hooked, and the only reason why because I'm just a fellow writer who wants to see others have some success. These types of stories actually work better on other websites. So unless its a love story, by my opinion, it would be better to link a site and work on both sites. Hope you follow, and I hope I gave good feedback!
