Laktttt

I’ll try to get out chapter 12 in the upcoming days but i’m a little stacked with work and basketball so I can’t give a date just yet. But luckily I do think it’s one of the better chapters I’ve ever written 

@TurtleGuy22 Only just seen this man but yeah hope your alright. Thanks for letting me know, glad your doing what you feel is best over everything. Hopefully when you come back to it in the future then you'll be in a better head space  I'll miss reading this though icl.

@Laktttt 
            I can imagine myself as the character but writing is where I start to falter
            
            
            Anyways it would be great if you could mention a few fanfics with good fp pov 
            Analysing it would help a lot 
            ^w^
            
            Have a good day

@Cooldude33cc I'm really not good at that lol but anyways I would say that it mostly depends on how you think yourself because that can influence how you write you're characters. You need to try imagine that characters thoughts and thought process and put yourself in their position. Method acting is similar if you want to search that up but for you I'd do that but only with your thoughts. That's quite an extreme example but besides that I would say read fanfics that have good first person in them. There's loads on my reading list anyways if you need some.

@TurtleGuy22 volume 1, chapter 7 from what I just found.

@Laktttt Even if i have read then its been months and ill likely revisit them

@TurtleGuy22 That's a shame you've already read them ones. The only other Suzune and Kiyotaka one in that list is the last one I'm pretty sure. I'll see if I can find more that I've read and nae problem hahaha

I just added them all to my reading list, I will read them when i have the opportunity. Thank you again!

@Cooldude33cc Nah I've not long turned 19 and in the UK so I've finished college. I have a very bad knee condition on both knees where they dislocate extremely easily from majority of physical activity so even if I didn't want to, I'd have to work from home when I get a job which will happen in the future so my situation will be no different and I'll have free time either way. I do my own things obviously though so I'm not always free. Without going into any deeper issues, that's the gist lol but yeah I don't know how you get through writing chapters if your the same haha, don't know if I could do it icl.

@Laktttt that last part hits hard because that’s what I’m like 
            
            
            
            Also no offence, but how do you get so much free time?? Are you a stock market expert or smth? I’m at ok if you don’t want to tell tho I don’t mind

@Cooldude33cc Yeah I just enjoy reading tbh. That's all it amounts to and I have free time so when I read fanfics it's very easy to put aside a couple mins. I'd write a story but I know I'd be a perfectionist when writing so I don't do it since the first chapter alone will never get finished to my standard since I know something can always be improved no matter how small. I'd be happy to give what little feedback I can offer when I'm free though.

@Laktttt It’ll get up there in chapters eventually it’ll jsut take a little, my other story still has 5x the amount of reads it does so there’s a possibility for both of them to have 100k+ reads, that’s the goal atleast 

@TurtleGuy22 Aye I personally think you're fic is very good although my brains perception regarding that is definitely fried because of how bad a lot of fanfics are. The low chapter count is probably what's holding it back if I were to point out the biggest thing but that will come with time. I reckon it will be one of the ones with 100k plus reads if you grind it for a good while. But yeah anyways goodnight man and nae problem.

@Laktttt I’ve honestly been trying to make my fics be one of the ones that people refer to as very good lol. I’ll definetly binge some of them if i have the opportunity too because i have a break coming up soon, anyways goodnight man thanks for all the help

@TurtleGuy22 yeah I fully agree  
            I can't wait for the chapter man, keep it up.

@Laktttt Yeah it can definitely happen in a lot of different ways. I think I will just turn it into Kiyotaka giving more constructive criticism and light jabs but also showing his intellect and probably setting up a wager like other fics. It’ll be a lot easier and will make the actual reality check more meaningful if their relationship is farther along 

@TurtleGuy22 Going the first route is quite complicated honestly. You have the base idea down so you could do it if you really wanted and I don't think it would turn out bad in any way since you probably have a more concrete idea now on how she would react. I've seen fanfics in similar spots where he threatens her to spread her legs or he smacks the shit out of her or nearly expels her or humiliates her. There's so many different ways it can be done because Kiyotaka is mentally cracked in the head when he's not acting with 2 personas. The mask in this fanfic and his so called normal personality covering his white room one. So you have many choices in your approach and I understand you want the readers to like it so it's harder to pick as well. If you separate them as you said then you have more content and because their relationship would have developed by the time he destroys her mentally then it will be a whole lot more impactful.

@Laktttt Ichinose is honestly one of the most undermined characters because of her looks and she really is an amazing character that has a lot of options when writing but I think that’s also one of her flaws. Readers will always disagree with anything that isn’t normal canon Ichinose even if it’s reasonable and perfectly explainable. 

@TurtleGuy22 Yeah I get what you mean, It's basically the idea of buffing her as a means of second hand attack on Horikita from Kiyotaka for her development. That could definitely work and it'd be interesting to read if done correct. Nice example and tbh Ichinose can be used in a multitude of different ways as a character, she's extremely moldable because of her personality so you have a lot of opportunities. That idea of yours is literally a failsafe for Horikita's development, you can just keep it in the back of your head for later on and develop her normally for now since that idea has 0 drawbacks and can fit into the story most likely at any early or mid stage. If you decide to of course. I think you'll do good regarding her character from the thoughts/ideas you've displayed so there's no need to worry about that specifically.

@Laktttt Yeah I agree. The issue with Ichinoses character is that it can change based off a lot of things because I’m constantly changing chapters or plans based off reader feedback and new ideas. The most likely outcome is Ichinose is simply going to be an ally that has the potential to become an antagonist based off how I decide how badly Koji wants to beaten. E.g If Koji wanted to make Horikita develop even faster he could force Ichinose to have to make hard decisions and lose some of her want to save everyone which has been shown to make her a much better leader and opponent