secret_singer305
Alright. I just finished reading your book. It's great. I found one flaw and that was when she leaves her glove and he makes a move on her. That's about it. I feel like that should have happened a little into the story. You can put a little bit more details into things. Don't leave it in only her point of view. Do a random thing and have point of views on all team mates even the coach her teachers her old team. Stuff like that. Give your readers something to be on edge for. I know i am. I'm waiting for the next update. Don't give up on the story keep it for how it is. It makes more sense if we knew more about her and what went through. Make it seem like she was closed off from everybody after her mothers death and baseball being her only escape. Show her as an actual human and not a fictional character. When you do that you distance yourself from your story and your readers. Give us flash backs of her good times and her bad times. What it was like before her mother died. All we know is her mother died when she was 12. She's getting over it. But it hasn't healed completely. How does she die? Car accident? Cancer? You have to suck the readers in with details. It makes easier to imagine. When i read something i have to be abled to picture it. It makes the story so much better when the readers are so lost in how its playing out in their minds its easier for them to grasp on to the emotions and everything.
Lannag44
You have no idea how you just made my day. I honestly have been thinking long and hard about what I wanted to do with it and trashing and starting over seemed like the best option but now I am glad I didn't. Thank you for the tips and your support!
