Ratzfly04

Well, I’m back…… yay.
          
          Sooo I’ve had time to think and here I am. 
          I don’t have an update schedule because I write when I have time, so chapters are kinda iffy. Let’s hope I have improved 

My grandpa passed away a couple weeks back, I wasn’t there to say goodbye. I went to visit him before but when I had to go I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to say goodbye because I thought I would see him again in two months. I was wrong and not long after I had gotten home he got worse. My mom was able to go see him and tell him goodbye, for that I’m glad. I don’t think it’s fully him that I won’t be seeing him again, and I don’t think it will hit me until my and my family go get his ashes to take to his home. It pains me how he wasn’t able to go on his home land. When I saw him last he was really skinny and he had always been a little on the heavy side. It was such a shocking change from when I had seen him as, well, himself. I really regret not spending time with him while on my visit. For some reason I didn’t ever think that someone who has always been there would be suddenly gone. In my head he was present, he was here, he was okay so I never worried, but now I’m conscious that he is not there. Maybe one day I’ll be okay with that thought, just not today. 

I was planning to update some my stories since I’ve been working on chapters but I’ll be taking time off because my grandpa is dying. 

So I have acquired a job, and I realized I’m very out of shape… also working is not something I can mentally handle if I keep wanting to cry every night says anything. I already want to quit because socializing is scary and I don’t think I can ever get use to it. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t think I’ll be updating anything in a long time. I literally have only one day completely free of everything and it’s not nearly enough to focus on hw let alone wattpad. I kinda want to go back to my therapist because my thoughts are not okay… just thinking of going back to so many people makes me want to sob ugh..

Eyyyyy I’m back, alive and uhhh just alive. Anyways I posted a tmnt fic. Takes place in the tmnt2014 movie. Hope you like itttt •^•

Y’all, *ornhub shut down putin’s account

And so the wattpad curse strikes, rest in peace.

I would honestly not be here is there wasn't so many things i want to try, have, or do.

I got therapy for a year I think, I think im worse

Don't you ever just want to beat the crap out of someone but you can't because then someone stops you because they love said person but said person made that someone who stopped you cry so now you want to see them suffer... Just me?