Jake the Snake

my grandma is dying today and im so very close to dropping out of school and becoming a stripper, crying in the middle of conversations, passing out, or all three at once.

my cousin dropped a cover album and oh my gosh
          
          
          im shook

me: oh god why must you make me so angsty?
          god: i gotta

im crying over portal songs when i should be working

jk jk (i hope)

breaking news im now a furry

*writes one sentence and a half*
          yeah thats good

my sister tried to express her frustrations in a video game and said 
          "i just wanna smash this guy's head" and i go
          "gosh isn't that a little sexual"
          "no i mean grab his head and-"
          "gross, i don't wanna hear about your sex life"
          this continued for five minutes until she screeched "I AM CONFESSING TO MURDER OH MY GOD THIS IS WHY I HAVE GREY HAIRS"

my favorite hobby right now is listening to owl city but the speed is 0.75

wow i used caps lock a lot in my earlier years didnt i