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@Lia_luvss I am so incredibly sorry for your loss! I know from my experience that grief comes in waves but you may never be "better". I deal with it by writing at my own speed and listening to music, reading, or watching movies/shows. However, they are only distractions but it's my way on dealing with loss. Nothing will ever be the same for me, mostly from losing my dad, Grandma, my mom, my cousin and friends who took their own life from bullying. Life is shit to be honest. Hang on though and find your own "healthy" distractions, whatever they may be.