Kay

Guys, can adults experience growth spurts? I feel like I'm experiencing one. I am having this insatiable hunger, like these past 2 days have been filled with me eating like there's no tomorrow! And I don't feel full. Am I growing? Lol maybe I'm growing muscles. 
          
          Which... listen, if these shoulders get any more defined, it’s actually over for everyone. I’m already a menace with the little bit of muscle popping through. What happens when I fully enter my muscle baddie era? Aaah! #WomenInBodyBuilding lol

4 people I’m convinced are on drugs:
          1. Mimi Faust
          2. Carlos King
          3. a) Carlos King’s staff
          3. b) Mimi’s clients
          
          Mimi… because how do you get on an internationally accessible podcast and confidently say sunscreen is an “American thing” and that Africans don’t use sunscreen? She said that with so much conviction! So much certainty! And that's because she's taking something lol that's not normal. I thought Mimi was a city girl kanti she’s just a silly girl.
          
          And Carlos. When Mimi said, “Have you ever heard of an African using sunscreen?” that man said, “No.” Immediately. No hesitation. No critical thinking. No “I can’t speak for an entire continent.” A sober thought process would’ve at least added a disclaimer like, “I don’t know that many African people.” But nope. First thought, best thought. Do you know why? Drugs!
          
          The production team. Because how did no one say, “Maybe let’s… not air this?” Not one person reached for the pause button? The cameras just kept rolling like this was normal conversation? What??? 
          
          And finally, Mimi’s clients. Because if someone can make a sweeping, scientifically questionable statement like that with confidence, and you’re still buying skincare from them? You must be on drugs! Coz that statement alone should tell you the amount of research that went into her products and your sober mind should tell you to maaaaaybe reconsider. 
          
          Anyway. That’s my TED Talk.

So you gonna leave us hanging with Tima in store aisle? How's the leg Bestie? You back training for the next olympics yet?

Yesterday, I spent a day some time in one of my friend's shoes and man, when I tell you she deserves all the flowers and monies and good fortune in the world? Coz wow!
          
          So she has 3 kids. Twins who are 6 and the baby is 3. She was away for the day, helper is on sick leave, I had to be at her house to receive the kids after-school, and stay with them until she came back. She missed her return flight and had to spend the night where she was so I had to spend the night with the kids.
          
          When I tell you those kids thoroughly wore me out! I practically slept like the dead the way I was so exhausted. Ffwd to this morning when they had to get ready for school. Yoh! That was an EXPERIENCE. I think I may have lost my “cool aunt” status. At some point I had to be firm. I had to look a baby in the eyes and say, “No.”
          The way his little face fell? I immediately tried to hug him and apologize. This child licked my face. I nearly vomited. He thought that was funny. I was not okay.
          
          Now I'm wondering how my friend is able to do this every single day then go to work, and to the gym and show up for get togethers? I could never! Oh my God! What a woman!
          

Also, my bestie has been so quiet... I just know she's getting up to no good.

Hey y'all, 
          
          I hurt my leg at the race yesterday so I have nothing else to do than sit with the leg elevated and write.
          
          Are we in the mood for Loving Me or Between Hearts? Or should I just follow my heart? 

There's a man on Tiktok named TeddySZwes, he looks just like Zac and he keeps doing this dance lol the dance is so elite lol please, I love him.

Ons wag vir jou to give us updates bestie!!! Look at me rushing you kaanti I haven't been writing for the past two weeks...

Let me tell you how I was set up today, by my own husband.
          
          So I told him some time ago that I want to try Pilates this year. He told me there’s a class at the gym I can join. I said, “Absolutely not. I’m shy. There is no way I'm walking into that studio with just me and myself, alone.”
          
          He said, “But you’re always at the gym?”
          I said, “Yes, doing other things. Not pilates. NOT the same thing. The other things I do are on the gym floor, it's just there. Pilates is in a room. That's not the same thing and there is no way I'm walking into that studio with just me and myself, alone.”
          
          He said okay.
          
          Fast forward to this afternoon. We go to the gym together. We get to reception and this man sees the Pilates instructor and goes: “Hey Trudie, have you met my wife?”
          
          It immediately registers in my mind what is about to happen. It's just like Lord, why? And most importantly, why meeee-uh!?
          
          He said, "she's been meaning to take your class but they’re always so full."
          
          At this point, I am taken aback by how easily that lie rolled off his tongue. I said, "young man???" At this point, I'm picking up my jaws from the floor the way I'm so shocked. Both my hands are filled with my jaws, the way I'm shocked!
          
          Trudie says, “Oh I’m actually about to start a class. You wanna wait here with me? I’ll make space for you.”
          
          Why, Lord?
          
          I say, “Oh sure! Let me just put my bag away.”
          
          That was a lie. She was NEVER going to see me again. I was going straight to the change rooms to cancel my membership and change my name.
          
          But oh my dearly beloved husband, the one I chose for myself, out of my own free will, KNOWING I won’t come back, says:
          “I’ve got your bag. I’ll be at the door after the class, don't worry about it.”
          
          Bruuuuuuuh!
          
          So anyway… I did Pilates today.
          And then I did some small talk with Trudie afterwards. And then we exchanged numbers. Please, I'm a socialite at this point.
          

Let me tell you how bad of a night I'm having right now.
          
          So I'm with the 17-year-old at home. I came back from work, we chilled, had dinner, I finished an entire bottle of wine, and I went to sleep.
          
          Around 10pm, she wakes me up and tells me there’s a gecko in the house.
          
          First of all, I cannot even handle 1 ant. Now you’re telling me there’s a whole reptile freelancing in the house?
          
          My first thought: we have to evacuate.
          My second thought: I’m still very tipsy and cannot drive. If I was alone then sure! But driving tipsy with a child is next level recklessness. And I'm just entry level reckless. Like, go to work with a hangover reckless, you know?
          My third thought: She’s a new driver and definitely cannot drive at night. So now we’re stuck in a hostage situation… with a gecko.
          
          I do what any rational person would do and Google what geckos eat.
          Google says: spiders.
          
          All my mind registers is there are a million spiders in the house and that's why the gecko is here. It was looking for food and was drawn to this restaurant by the scent of spiders that reside in this house.
          
          At this point, the only logical solution is to burn the house down.
          
          Long story short, we are currently sitting in the car waiting for my bestie to come rescue us from this reptilian home invasion.
          
          The time is 23:37