Starting Temporarily Yours today. It is good so far, but almost too conventional since you started with the premise that she was constantly having trouble with past employers getting too...personal... trying to have a relationship with her.
I might have started the story on a slightly different foot. If he knew the kind of problems she had with her former bosses then he could be afraid of scaring her off.
They could dance around the mutual attraction for a while afraid of being mistaken for 'that kind of guy Again' on one side and afraid of misreading him and overstepping bounds on the other.
Since she is the common element in all these past (professional) relationships gone wrong, she could start to wonder if she was the one doing something wrong sending mixed signals... And if she is messing things up now somehow. That suspicion could rise on its own or be planted by Someone else.
You used that as part of the hook for the story, but don't seem to be using it for anything so far. The only reason I see not to would be if you intend to use an ex- boss and cast a mistaken impression of their relationship in his mind later.
You are using formulas that have worked in other books, and are using them well. I just expected a bit more novelty in the set up, even though the Nanny and the widdower is a tried and true genre.
I can't honestly criticise when my first finished work is a (well done) formula piece too!
- not yet edited or published. I did get a recommendation for the hemmingway app to help with editing.
I'm enjoying it, don't worry. I do nitpick over my own work and others too much sometimes. There are always many roads untraveled in any story, lots of might have beens and you can't use them all.
