Lightning-013

I suppose it may do me some good to come back to this community for a while. 

Lightning-013

this message may be offensive
Hello everyone. 
          
          I’m sorry for not being around the last month or two. I’ve really struggled with my mental health and work. I’m continuously taken for granted and have to put up with customers that talk to me like a piece of shit and do Class A drugs: Cocaine being the main one inside the premises. 
          
          There is no communication and I do my best to stick it out despite having it now put into my head by my manager that I could be bipolar because I’m fine one minute then socially aggressive the next. 
          
          I haven’t been what you’d call happy for a long time; I just tolerate life right now. It’s easier for me to distance myself from life in order for me to feel ‘better’ about things. I’m seeing a doctor in the next couple of days and I’m planning on ringing the hospital to try and book me in due to all my unknown physical issues also. 
          
          I’m trying to find a new job ASAP but I’m fussy. With all that’s going through my head I feel that I can no longer work with people let alone carry on my 3 plus years experience working in the chartering and bar industry. 
          
          I just feel worthless all the time and with people getting on at me to encourage me it makes me not want to do things more as I like to do things in my own time. 
          
          I may be around a little more after being told I’m not suitable for the bar and my hours being slashed because on one tiny incident so I’m hardly ever at work. I spend some of my nights on my PlayStation and others just sitting in silence scrolling through my phone. I can be contacted but please don’t expect my normal cheery immediate response. 
          
          I hope to find out what’s wrong with me entirely but I feel the answer is still so far away from reach. 
          
          Thank you for your time. 
          
          Lightning