*Sees someone new following me almost every day lately...*
Me: What? Why...? Thank you! I'm flattered! But why? I'm barely on here! Why do you people like me?!
Brain: Ok, you know what this means, right?
Me: ........Yes?
Brain: We gotta publish something to give these people a reason to like us!
Me: But... I don't have anything -
Brain: Shhhhhhhh! We'll come up with something awesome to show that we are worthy of all this attention!
Me: *internal screaming*