Lillie

Hey there, I really enjoyed reading your story “The other Wayland” and wanted to ask when you’re going to update again?

Happy New Year!!! 

Yo so, 2020 aye? It's been an absolute whirlwind of a year! I got an unconditional offer for my top choice university back in October last year, I celebrated new years with my absolute best friends in the world, got stressed about exams in January, felt extremely lonely at valentines, finished school a whole two months early, went into three whole  months of lockdown, passed my last set of school exams, 3 Bs and a C, moved cities with two of my best friends, started mostly online uni, turned 18, got a crush on one boy and was rejected, fell in love with another only for him to start sleeping with a friend (ouch) but over all I am HAPPY, I think anyway. I love my friends, I adore my university course, Immunology, if anyone cares, I survived three months at uni without catching covid and I think I'm as close to thriving as you can be under the current circumstances. 
          I won't deny that it has been an incredibly difficult year but even some of the hardest days came with a little bit of sunshine, whether that be the simple joy of laughing with my friends or making dinner with my flatmates. It's important to acknowledge the hard days, the ones where we cry and feel hurt, those help us grow but it's also important to look for the light days, ones where you laugh for hours or smile so hard your face hurts. 
          I might not have an exact map of where I am and most days I feel like I'm constantly battling up hill but this is life, this is what things are like in 2020 and I am beyond excited for 2021 and the possibilities it could bring. 
          So to 2021, let it bring love, happiness and a little relief to the burning trashcan of 2020!

I am feeling so lost. 
          I got my higher exam results yesterday and for most people they'd be ecstatic at the results I got, three A's a B and a C, but for me it was the worst they could have been bar failing. You see I want to be a doctor but with the C I got in chemistry I basically have no chance. I don't know what to do or how to feeling except empty and like I've ruined my life.
          I am left with results that could get me into any course I liked with an unconditional but the one my heart and head was set on and a not well thought out back up plan that I'm barely passionate about. 
          This is the first time that I haven't had a plan for the future. From when I was very young, no matter my dream job at the time, I had my life planned out in front of me and now at the time I thought I'd be most certain of what life should look for me, I have nothing. I can't see what the next few months will look like let alone the next year. 
          Realistically, I know that I could still go to university, study another degree and apply to medicine as a graduate student. I could still have a chance to be a doctor but just now it seems like an impossibility. I can't see it. It all seems so out of reach.
          I am lost and that terrifies me. There are so many options left out there for me yet, I still feel like I've failed. My parents keep telling me that I've done well, that I should be proud but how can I feel proud when I came so close to my dream and then lost it? I feel like a disappointment, I am utterly heart broken. I've been crying for the last two days, I don't want to talk to any of my friends because I know that they won't understand and I barely want to get out of bed. My head is in such a dark place, and the more I look into other possibilities , the more I begin to slip further into that dark place.
          I know things will seem better at some point but just now, it all seems so hopeless.
          I am lost but I will find my way at some point. I just need time and maybe a map. 
          Lillie.

Hello, 
          Once again I suck and haven't updated in like two months. I promise new chapters are coming. I'm on summer break from school from today and I'm not working so I'll have plenty of free time to write. I'm leaving to go on holiday for eight days today so nothing but sun, sea, sand and books for those days. Hopefully once I'm home I'll have a chapter ready to post so keep an eye out.
          Love,
          Lillie

So, it's exam season once again and it's a big one for me. 
          I just wanted to send my good luck to everyone sitting exams this spring/summer. I will try to update more once everything is over.
          Love,
          Lillie

Merry Christmas everyone! 
          I can't believe it's Christmas already, where's the year gone? 
          I hope you have all had a lovely day full of laughter, yummy food and love.
          Wishing you all the best for the new year,
          Lillie

Hi,
          Just noticed half of part 5 of Knowing No Bounds is missing so I've got to go back and rewrite it. It will mean some changes to that chapter so I'd suggest reading it again.
          This does mean that there finally will be a new chapter. YAY!
          Hopefully you haven't given up on me yet. At some point there will be regular updates. 
          Lillie