Hey sis! I saw you offered to let me read your story, and I gotta admit, I haven't dove in deep yet. But I've definitely taken a peek! Now, I'm not a super experienced author myself, but as a reader, I'd suggest adding some structure to your writing. Don't worry, it's just a thought, no pressure! But I really think using paragraphs will make your story engaging and feel more attractive and stable for readers. When you use dialogue all the time, it can feel a bit shaky and less engaging. So, my advice? Go for those paragraphs! I know some people love stories with lots of dialogue, but I personally find that paragraphs make it easier to get lost in the story. It's just a thought, though! If you want any advice or something I'm here anytime.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck with all your future writing adventures! You've got this!