Lindsay

@LindsayAckles Thank you so much! I'll try to edit the things you found as soon as possible! I actually feel kind of bad because the omission of punctuation before quotation marks is something I get really annoyed at... Thank you for pointing all that out and answering to me!
          
          Of course I'll read your story!

@Pandor Fist of all I feel soooooooooo bad for only replying now. It's super mean of me. I just wanted to only reply once I'd read your story which I hadn't done yet. School's been hectic, and I've been writing my own story, and I've been having series weekends to treat myself for the week's hard work. I think when you sent me the message I was watching House S5 - totally awesome. And yay, another House fan :)! On to business: why do you think you're doing something wrong? Your writing is excellent; I had to laser-inspect it just to find these teeny errors. As for commas (:D I do love them), a good tip is to read the sentence out loud. Wherever you feel like a pause belongs is where a comma belongs. Obviously everyone has their own opinions because people speak differently, but its a nice general rule. "I waited until his angry steps had disappeared down the stone hallway, and pulled my balcony doors open." I would suggest using 'then' instead of 'and'.
          
          "Sure, I ran away from home and didn't listen in class, but I have principle." Use 'had' instead of 'have'.
          
          In both: "Yes" I replied firmly. and "I'm not afraid" I said immediately. have commas before closing the quotation marks.
          
          "I kicked off my shoes and waded in the shallow water to prove it." Use 'into' instead of 'in'.
          
          "You must come back home immediately" -> Yvonne says this, there's a full stop/ period missing before the quotation mark.
          
          "Heather" My mother called. The 'M' should not be capital and there should be a comma before the quotation mark.
          
          "I swallowed up the lump in my throat..." The 'up' can be deleted. I only read the first chapter so far, but I will read the rest soon (its holiday for me now!). Keep writing! And I'd appreciate it if you would give my story a read. Thanks!

hey lindsay! im a spn, house, vd, gg, chuck and monk fan too! who wouldhave thunk it... i cant wait til you post your story on wattpad! i wannaread it inc class tomorrow, btw. lol, love ya

Hello! I saw a critique of yours on the forums and you seem like an honest critique. I'd love if you could read at least the first chapter of my story Finding Freedom and give me some feedback. I seem to have a problem placing commas in good places and no one has bothered to explain what exactly I'm doing wrong... I could use the help of a comma-lover like you.
          
          Thanks for your time, and yes House is awesome ;D

 Hi! Thanks for asking for my help. Before pointing out any of the very few errors, I would like to point out a very serious mistake that I think you've made on your profile. See, it says you're 13. You CANNOT be 13. The very idea is unimaginable because I have about 26 fellow classmates who cannot write half as well as you do. I'm not exaggerating. They're still getting confused with their 'their' and 'there' and 'were' and 'where'. So I find it impossible that you could be 13. Please tell me that was a huge mistake on your part. 
          
          Ok, corrections. Well I think I found like 2. Which is one of the least amount of mistakes I've ever found in one chapter of a wattpad story. 
          - The very fist sentence of your prologue doesn't make much sense. Either there's a comma (hehe) missing, or the 'in' is not supposed to be there. I could be wrong, but either way, it's a bit confusing.
          I can't remember what the other one was. I tried looking now but it couldn't have been very big if I can't find it it now.
          
          I like your story. The idea and execution of the song is really well done, particularly for a prologue. Normally when I check stories, I delete them afterwards but I'll keep yours cos I like it. Just let me know if you want me to continue checking.
          Awesome writing!

Hello there, Lindsay the SnOb! xD  I love supernatural things, too! x3  I love commas, too! O__O"
          What the... Anyway, I kind of wanted you to read my story. >.<
          It's called Scripted Destiny, and I'm wondering if you could point out any potential errors.  I don't use spell check, see, 'cause that messes me up sometimes. >_<
          
          *bows down low*  Thank you very much, whether you do or don't read! ^_^