Profile things like these are what make me stop and actually think to myself. WHO AM I?? O.O

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

YOU TRYING TO STEAL A COOKIE FROM A COOKIE NINJA...ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS MUAHAHAHA!!! And ummm yeah good luck with that.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

0,...,0: I want to suck your blood?
-__-: why did you make it sound like a question, huh?
0,...,0: uuuh...?
-__-: Oh so you think my blood ain't good enough for you, what are you Edward Cullens!! hmmph Good day sir.
0,...,0: Wait!
-__-: I SAID GOOD DAY!!!!

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Which I don't know how to do.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died!!! That kind of killed me a little inside as I sat in his office. Talk about traumatizing.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.  

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my laptop.

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives. 

So many thoughts, so little time!