Lionqueen0303

hey y'all sorry, I was planning on posting a new chapter yesterday night but then I came down with a stomach bug. once I get over it I'll make sure to post again. thanks for hanging in.

AmericanManforLIFE

I made a 1,000+ word chapter :)

Lionqueen0303

this message may be offensive 
@AmericanManforLIFE Im my opinion Yes there is too much cussing, If you want more followers try to cut back on that and some of it just doesn't make sense when there is one. Like when you said,"Hold it the fuck up, RIGHT NOW" it just kinda through me off so I would just say "STOP MOVING RIGHT NOW!"
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Lionqueen0303

@AmericanManforLIFE  That's great! keep it up and I write my stories on a computer. How About You? What do you write them on.
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AmericanManforLIFE

Is the story decent because i let someone at my school read it today and they said it needed to be written better

Lionqueen0303

@AmericanManforLIFE I was reading your story and I like it so far (now that I've realised you were talking about that) but I have a little pointer. Try and spread your words out, like hit enter a lot so it makes all the words easier to read. And if you are talking to the audience I would suggest using bold because it helps everyone tell the difference between when the characters are talking vs you. Other than that it all looks good and I would even say that you should try for a longer chapter just to get the readers to know everything that's going on in that chapter.
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Lionqueen0303

@AmericanManforLIFE  
            if its on paper do you mind if you typed like two or three sentences so I could give you some pointers.
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Lionqueen0303

@AmericanManforLIFE  Well do you mean the story that you've already started or do you have another one on paper?
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