i lost my grandfather at a young age and don't remember much about him. i've been told he loved me and my brother and we were very close. it's weird because i think the reason i'm so closed off the crying for death, or feeling emotion is because the one father i had was mentally incapable of loving me and my grandfather, who treated me like he was my father died without me every getting to say goodbye. i wish i remembered him so much. and i wish my father was capable of loving us.